My pitas page

Tuesday, July 30, 2002 02:56 a.m.

something lemony...

"Maxwell, this has to be the strangest idea you've come up with yet!" Despite himself, Wufei smirked at his counterpart as he shut the door behind him. He knew Duo found some of the weirdest things a turn on, but this was outrageous. Wufei doubted that they'd be done before the conference started in seven minutes.

"Yeah, and you love me for it 'Fei!" Duo grinned, hopping up onto the smooth polished surface of the boardroom table, legs spread invitingly. The brunette was only wearing a pair of dress shorts and his tie, having divested himself of his shirt on their way. "Now shut up or we won't get anything done!" He winked at the Chinese boy, and then leaned back on his elbows, the pose pulling his shorts taut across his groin and accentuating the bulge of his erection.

"Somedays I wonder."

Saturday, July 20, 2002 04:58 p.m.

Vanilla Wishes

Disclaimer: I don’t own Schu or Nagi, though I do own Yotan and Kenken. Okay, okay, I don’t.

Warnings: Shonen Ai, Sap, Angst

Notes: Gift fic for Suki-chan, just because I wanted to.

Vanilla Wishes

Nagi sat on the wide stone railing, knees drawn up to his chin, back pressed against one of the stone columns that supported the roof of the porch as he stared out at the darkening yard, fireflies flashing occasionally. It had been more than a year since the final fight with Weiss, and with the money they had stashed away, Schwarz had relocated to America and had bought an old ranch in Montana. It had taken a while to fix up, since it had been abandoned for several years, but it was place they could call home.

They didn’t have to work, but Brad took on a job as a stockbroker for the well off people in the area, and Nagi himself worked over the Internet as a website designer. Schuldich was writing a series of books about their past, totally unedited under the pen name Guilt. Farf didn’t work at all. Surprisingly, since they had moved, gotten out of the assassination business, and settled down, he had grown progressively calmer, not to mention saner. It was rare for him to have an attack without some warning beforehand, so they all felt safe letting him run the house while they worked. It worked out perfectly.

But Nagi had to admit, it could be dull. They lived in a town that was lucky to have a population of two hundred, and the only businesses in it were the local store, the bank, and the post office. There was nothing for a teen to do unless they wanted to drive half an hour to go to the mall in the nearest city.

The teen sighed, chin resting on his knees as he stared out into the evening. Things wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t always cooped up in the house with Schuldich. He had never really noticed before, but the German was becoming more than a brother and best friend to him. It was depressing though, knowing that Schu was more interested in Brad. What made it worse though, was that Brad didn’t share that interest, and never had. Since they had moved to Montana, he’d been courting a woman in town, and had proposed to her a couple days ago. Schuldich hadn’t spoken to him since.

The brunette sighed again. It was childish. Schu had always known that Brad was straight, and he had chased the older man anyways. But when the inevitable happened, and Brad got engaged, the red head sulked.

A firefly winked nearby, and he smiled slightly. The sight of the little bugs always cheered him up. Their small sparks were enchanting, and he remembered hearing about children catching them in jars. The child in him longed to do the same, but he quashed the urge. What was the use catching them in airless jars, when they’d eventually die, their tiny flames going out prematurely? Nagi smiled, watching them until a rustle of cloth caught his attention.

Schuldich stood at the steps up onto the porch, hair tied back messily, a pair of reading glasses perched on top of his head in lieu for the crimson sunglasses he used to wear. The button up shirt he wore was untucked and rumpled, undone to his chest, and the belt on his pants was unbuckled. He was a mess. A bottle of vanilla cola hung from his hand, replacing the beer that Nagi was used to seeing, and a lit cigarette dangled from his lips. “Schu?”

The German glanced at him, then smiled slightly. “Hey kid. Didn’t see you there.”

A wry expression twisted the smile on Nagi’s lips. “I’m not very noticeable, so don’t feel bad.” Turning his head again, the expression slipped away back to the gentle smile as he watched the fireflies. There was another rustle of cloth as Schuldich sat down across from him, back leaning against another pillar.

“You okay Nagi?”

“Yeah.” They sat in silence for a while, before the cool bottom of the cola bottle nudged Nagi’s arm.

“Have some kid.” A smirk. “Better than getting drunk any day.” The bottle switched hands, and they sat in silence again, sharing the bottle between them, before Nagi sighed, eyes closing. “Alright Nagi, what’s bugging you? I know something’s wrong.”

The teen didn’t reply immediately, sighing again as his teeth worried his lower lip. “Schu, why do you chase Brad? You know he doesn’t return your feelings.”

“Ja, I know. Its just, even if he doesn’t admit it, there’s still a chance, that somehow, he might feel the same way eventually.”

“For God’s sake Schu! He’s getting married in two months! He loves Grace, and nothing you say or do will change that!” The outburst startled them both into silence, and the only sound for several minutes was their breathing, the soft chirping of crickets, and the occasional snort from the horses in the paddock behind the house.

“I know Nagi… Believe me, I know. You don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to tell her about our past, just to get her away from him. But seeing them together… It’s special, you know? They look so happy, and… so obviously in love. I know he’ll never look at me like that, but I can’t help it. I can’t help wanting him, loving him as much as the tides can stop coming.” He sighed, not looking at Nagi. “There’s just something about him that makes me feel safe, makes me feel wanted…”

“Schuldich…” Nagi started, then trailed off, not really knowing how he wanted to word this. “I know how it feels Schu. I… I’m in the same situation, you see. I love someone, but they love someone else. For all I know, they only see me as a child who needs to be protected still.”

Sympathetic eyes turned to lock with his, the green a bit dulled with resignation and disappointment that the red head hadn’t been able to evade. A slight nod, then they sat in silence, just watching the fireflies and listening to the crickets.

“You should tell them.”

“What?”

Schuldich sighed, taking a swig from the nearly empty bottle of cola. “You should tell the person how they feel. You never know, there may be a chance, even a small one, that they may have some feelings for you in return. If you don’t… You’ll never know what could have been…” He explained, blowing a plume of smoke in the air from the cigarette that he had just lit to replace the one that had burnt away. Nagi nodded, then sat silently.

”Schu?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s you.”

The German turned to look at him, face incredulous. “What?” Nagi didn’t answer, not wanting to actually admit his feelings. “Nagi… You couldn’t… Why me?”

“Because… Because I feel safe around you, protected but not smothered. You make me feel like I belong here, like I belong in this world, like I’m not just a half grown freak.” Nagi’s voice broke, and he fought tears as he turned to look at Schuldich. “I love you Schu. I have for a long time, but never wanted to admit it to myself. I never wanted to tell you either, because it would ruin our friendship! And now, you probably hate me for telling you this…” He finished, turning away, eyes closed against the tears he knew would fall eventually.

“Nagi… Kid…” Schuldich sighed as Nagi didn’t respond. “Chibi…” Sliding across the railing, he tugged the teen into his lap, tucking Nagi’s head below his chin. “Why would I hate you for that? You’re my best friend, almost a little brother…”

“And that’s exactly it!” Nagi pulled away, but didn’t move from Schuldich’s lap. “You think I’m still a little kid! I’m not anymore Schu… I’m seventeen, remember? I’m not the child who used to pass out at the slightest use of his powers anymore!” The tears spilt over, tracing crooked lines down his cheeks. “I love you, and… And I don’t care if this ruins our friendship anymore, as long… “He hiccupped, trying to fights the sobs that accompanied his tears. “I don’t care anymore, as long as I get to remember this…”

Schuldich’s eyes widened as Nagi’s lips pressed gently against his own, a chaste kiss, before the teen’s mental barriers collapsed and he was flooded with a rush of emotions, thoughts and worries. The arms he had wrapped around Nagi tightened, pulling the teen closer as his tongue traced the curve of the brunette’s lower lip before slipping past, stroking against Nagi’s.

Pulling back, Nagi stared at the older man, eyes wide, before he looked away. “I’m sorry…”

“For what? Nagi, look at me.” Schuldich tipped Nagi’s face to look into the teen’s eyes. “In a way, I’m sad, because we no longer have the trust that our friendship gave us.” A sob escaped the brunette as he tried to escape the German’s grasp. “But in more than one way, in more than a dozen, I’m glad… Because we’ve gained so much more.” A lopsided smile curved the red head’s lips as he drew Nagi close. “What the use in being miserable? I already love you as a friend, and as a younger brother of sorts… I know I could get to love you as more than that.”

Midnight blue eyes widened as Nagi pulled back to look into the other’s eyes. “Honto ni?”

“Honto ni.” The point was emphasized with another gentle kiss. “In fact… I think I already love you, but I was too blinded with being in love with the idea of loving Brad.” He said, before laughing softly. “One thing though kid.”

“Yeah?”

“No sex until you’re eighteen.”

Nagi laughed, leaning his head on Schuldich’s chest, then sighed happily as he felt the German tuck it below his chin. “Can we just sit and watch the fireflies Schu?”

“Ja. As long as you want liebe. As long as you want.”

~Owari

Monday, July 15, 2002 01:08 p.m.

Blister, chapter 1

Journal entry 6

Veronica came on to me today! I can't beleive her! SHE CAME ON TO ME! God that was disgusting...

I was preparing for one of the professor's exiperiments in the dry room when she came in. I've been nude in front of her before, had to be since she's the professor's assistants, but this was different! Her shirt was half undone, her hair mussed and skirt wrinkled. She was a mess. I don't even want to think about what she was doing. I didn't really notice her until she got within a foot of me, inside my personal space. "Raven, I've got a special gift for you." She said. Gift, ha! I didn't really know what was going on until it had already started since the professor oh so kindly left out that part of my education. Bastard.

Anyways, she dropped to her knees in front of me, one hand curling around my penis. Definitely not a sensation I want to feel again, that of her cold and slightly clammy hands on me. I don't know how many layers of lipstick that woman wears, but the sight of those over painted lips closing around my limp genitals was a definite turn off. I didn't want to watch, feeling my cheeks burn with embarassment. I still didn't know what was going on, so I didn't pull away, wondering if this was the professor's experiment. I guess she took my actions as encouragement, because she renewed her efforts. I know now that what I began to feel was lust, but I didn't at the time, my face flushing brighter with embarassed shame.

Eventually she stopped, and I sighed with relief, beleiving it was over, until she pushed me to the floor and straddled my waist, lowering herself onto my half aroused cock. By now I was past embarassment, tears gathering though I refuse to spill them. I won't go into detail here, it's too disgusting. The professor found me fifteen minutes after she left, crouched on the floor and retching until I vomited blood.

Veronica's been fired, and I've been given a week of rest to pull myself back together.

-Logged at 22:00:78

-Expiriment Log 8320, Day 293-

My assistant has been fired after sexually assaulting the experiment. I should have seen the signs that her feelings toward him were turning from maternal to sexual, but I was caught up in my work. Hopefully this won't leave any undue effects on 8320's mind, since we need him in perfect mentality and health when the government agent comes for the assessment.

8320 must pass. If he doesn't, then my whole project will be shut down. I'll be the laughing stock of the scientific community! He will pass, no matter what.

-Logged at 00:28:83.

Dear diary,

God, what have I done?! I raped my son! I raped Raven! He'll never forgive me... Just as well that David fired me, I wouldn't be able to face him.

...But... In a way... It was worth it, to be full again...

~Veronica, September 09, 2074.

Video feed, cell 8320, 01:00

Raven's curled into a ball on the bare matress of his bed, the covers stripped and scattered around the small room. He's exhausted, but shame is keeping him awake as more tears spill down his cheeks despite his wishes. Slowly he uncurls and slides off the bed, feet tangling in the scattered bed clothes as he stumbles across the cell to the small desk set against the wall. One swipe of his arm sends the laptop set up there flying, LCD screen cracking on impact with the concrete floor. The drawers of the desk follow as he yanks them them out and slams them against the floor, genetically enhanced strength combined with rage enough to reduce the wood to splinters.

The sheets are next to fall to his angers as he reduces them to rags, then to shreds of cloth. The cot is overturned, metal frame twisting and bending, before the boy's strength seems to run out, leaving him standing in the middle of the room, panting for breath. He turns his head, and catches sight of the camera, staring directly into the lense before bending and picking up a large fragment of wood. His eyes are insane, anger, rage and hate are mixed into one unnamed emotion in the crimson irises as he advances towards the camera.

The wood comes swinging down. Static.

Thursday, July 4, 2002 02:53 a.m.

Blister, Prologue.

Heat, terrible heat. It singed the small hairs on his body, a thousand stinging needles, burying themselves in his flesh, igniting nerve endings, and setting fires through his body. He was ablaze, unending agony unfolding and enveloping him. A void lay beyond, a toothless maw of black shadows. His tenous grip on reality loosened despite his desperate struggle to regain it, then, with a surge, the darkness enfolded him, and he fell, never to stop.

The executioner gazed in a mixture of pity and disgust at the charred and bloody body of the boy strapped to the electric chair. Fine black hair had been shaved away to make room for the tight fitting steel cap despite the boy's pleas for it to remain, and the strands lay like dirty cobwebs on the floor. Pushed out of the way by the coroner, and the janitors that came in to take away the body and to clean up, he stumbled, going to his knees. His hand landed on several of the dark strands, then curled around them unconsciously as he stood once more, and strode from the room.

~*~

"Professor, the specimen's brainwaves... They're off the chart!" Female... Late twenties... Excited...

"What?! Let me see that..." Male... Mid forties... Concerned...

"Sir, I think we've done it!" The woman again...

"Yes, yes, I beleive we have!" That was my birth, the first thing I remember.

My name is Raven, expiriment number 8320. I was born 17 years old. That was three days ago. The professor insists that I keep this journal as part of his research, to monitor my thought patterns and mental growth. Wouldn't it be easier to just ask me what I was thinking? He doesn't seem to agree. I don't see why.

Veronica insists that I call her mother. She's the woman that assisted in my creation. I refuse to refer to her as so. She's my bioengineer, not my maternal caregiver. At least the professor doesn't insist that I call him father. That would be going too far.

As stated before, I am Raven, expiriment 8320. I was created from the genes of various humans that excelled at their jobs. According to Veronica, I resemble a cat burglar who lived about a century and a half ago, in the 1930's. The date today is July 03, 2074. I am five foot, 5 inches, and weigh 140 lbs. I have black hair that falls to chin level when it's wet, and red eyes. The professor says that they'll change to a normal color eventually as my body grows around the cybernetic implants. I don't beleive him. I live in the Insitute for the Research or Human Awareness, in sector X7. Unless Veronica or the professor allow it, I don't have the clearance to even leave my room, which is a perfect cube, ten feet on every side.

I have nothing else to report, so I'll end this now.

Logged at 16:30:47.

-Expiriment Log 8320, Day 258-

Expiriment was successful, and the specimen has maintained conscious thought for 72 hours, including REM sleep. It does not seem to like my assistant, though that may be attributed to the fact that she insisted that it call her mother. If it continues to be a success, then not only will humanity have gained another foothold on death, but Project Rebirth shall be approved for full operational capacity. No longer will we have to fear the other species that lurk at the outer edges of our solar system. We will have created the ultimate human.

Logged at 18:27:29

Dear diary,

I managed to persuade my son to call me mother. True, he's not my biological child, but it was I that gave him the beginning of life, it was I that carried him within myself so that he may mature enough to be transferred to an outer uterine vessel. It was I that gave up all my future hopes of giving birth to a child of my own flesh and blood due to the chemicals and operations that enabled Raven to exist. Doesn't that give me the right to be wished to be referred to as his mother?

David goes on about how the goverment will have to give us the grants to proceed with Project Rebirth now that he has a successful specimen to present to them. That's all that matters to him now. I remember the nights when after being up until the early hours of the morning, we'd slide into bed beside each other and rest, only to wake up and prove our relationship before returning to our work. I miss those days, miss the feel of waking up with someone beside me. Most nights David doesn't even leave his office, and my bed is cold without him. Was I wrong to get involved with him, both sexually, and career oriented?

No. I can't let that effect my attitude towards my job. Emotional ties are nothing in the face of science. Raven, my child... I'll keep you safe. I'll keep you with me, and never let you come to harm.

~Veronica, July 03, 2074.

[Computer log of test #5 on Subject 8320]

Professor David Kinaya, Doctor Veronica Landers, and Subject 8320 enter room. Subject removes his clothes, as Prof. Kinaya and Dr. Landers prepare test apparatus. Initial temperature of water, four degrees celcius. Subject is lowered into the test appartus. Body temperature, thirty eight degrees celcius.

Subject is now fully submerged, and the apparatus is sealed. Timer starts now. Water temperature, three degrees celcius and dropping. Body temperature, thirty five degrees celcius. Time, 00:00:20.

Water temperature, one degree celcius. Body temperature, thirty two degrees celcius. Heart rate and blood pressure decreasing rapidly. Brain activity, normal. Time, 00:01:05.

Water temperature, negative one degree celcius. Body temperature, twenty seven degrees celcius. Heart rate and blood pressure fatally low. Brain activity, normal. Time, 00:03:28.

Water temperature, negative three degrees celcius. Body temperature, twenty four degrees celcius. Heart rate and blood pressure, equal to that of one clinically dead. Brain activity, normal. Time, 00:4:03.

Water temperature, negative five degrees celcius. Body temperature, twenty one degrees celcius. Heart rate and blood pressure, N/A. Brain activity, slowing. Time, 00:05:00.

Subject has lost consciousness. Expiriment is a success.

[End Log, 20:39:20]

Monday, June 24, 2002 01:17 p.m.



Squall glanced out the window, then winced, narrowing his eyes against the bright sunlight streaming in. Blinded, he had no choice but to look back to Instructor Trepe, who was giving a lecture at the head of the class. A large paper chart was pulled down behind her, a cross section of a plant described clearly on the paper. A long wooden pointer in Quistis hand hit the chart periodically as she pointed out different areas of the diagram.

"The parts of a flower are so constructed so that often, a gust of wind causes pollenation. If it doesn't, a bee or other nectar gathering creature can do the same thing. In fact, anything that gets the pollen to the pistels will suffice. From there, the pollen travels from the stamen to the stigma. This is called what?"

Down in the front row, a young brunette transfer student from Trabia waved her hand wildly. "A photoperiodic reaction!"

Nodding, Quistis smiled slightly. "Very good Selphie."

"Hey, what page are we on?!"

"Chapter six, page five Seifer."

"Now, in an abstract way, the same applies to reproductive system of more complex life forms." Quistis reached up and yanked down another chart, this time one with a cross section of the male and female genitalia. Several cadets made faces, wincing. "Are there any questions before we continue?"

Zell jumped to his feet. "Yeah, is it possible the female member of some sex on a couch could get this guy all hot and bothered and she never even knew it?" Seifer nodded, adding his two cents.

"When the warm blooded mammal in tight little uniform starts pulling that stuff, it means that she wants to do it!" The blonde leered down at Selphie, who had been sitting in front of him."

A snort answered them from the far side of the class where a lanky brunette leaned against the wall, two legs of his chair off the ground. "Can't prove that. They allllways change their tune when you got 'em in the back seat." He tipped up his low brimmed stetson, smirking. "They never want to finish what they start, even when they have you sweaty and panting."

"You make it sound like a track meet! Gross!!" The special ed student, Rinoa, wrinkled her nose and flipped her hair.

All the guys stood at this. "And all you girls can say is no, No, NO!"

Sneering, the girls stood to confront their counter parts, voices low to imitate them. "Baby give it to me now!"

Leering, the guys retaliated, raising their voices into falsetto. "Is that all you think about?!"

Meanwhile, Instructor Trepe kept trying to teach. "The human being is the only creature able to conscious control their reproductive cycle. Any questions?"

Sauntering down to Instructor Trepe, Seifer stared lavisciously down her shirt. "Yeah... Is it true that women like you, all mature and shit always carry a condom with them just in case?"

"Hey, can't a girl just do that thing in a book where they count up the days of their, whatcha callit, mentalstrations?" Zell yelled over the clamour.

"Oh that's real nice!" Sneering, Selphie placed a hand against his chest and pushed him down. "And what if the guy says the numbers don't add up right?" By now Rinoa had joined her, and they towered over the cringing Zell. "HUH?!"

Grinning, Irvine shoved his hat under his duster and held it closed, appearing pregnant. When he spoke, his voice was a high falsetto. "I hope he's proud of what he's done!" Then his voice lowered as he removed his hat, planting it back on his head. "See what happens when a boy and girl don't play it safe?" The class roared with laughter.

Quistis glared, then brought two fingers to her lips and whistyled peircingly. The class rushed to take their seats once more.

Face stoic, Squall raised his hand. "Where does the pollen go?"

~Fin~

Sunday, June 16, 2002 10:28 p.m.

Save Yourself

Disclaimer: I don't want to own them… So don't sue me.
Warnings: Yaoi, het, darkfic, NCS, angst, language, violence
Notes: Definitely not happy. I finally broke my Gundam block, and boom. Here I am. ^^;;; I really don't like Relena, but I'm trying my best to be nice to her here. Well, sorta.

Save Yourself

"Duo?" Relena's voice was tremulous as she approached the black clad figure amongst the sea of black figures. "Duo, are you- Are you going to be alright? I know how much you loved him and-" She trailed off, watching the silent figure silently for a minute before speaking again. "Duo, you're welcome to come stay with me for a while until-" She stopped, about to say, 'until Heero returns' but that wouldn't be happening. Not now, not ever again. "Until you feel you're over this." She finished weakly, fighting against the lump in her throat that choked her.

"Shut up, Ms. Dorlian." Duo's voice was hoarse, cracking between his usual sweet tenor, and a low, haunted baritone. He stood, turning to face the blonde girl. "You're looking for someone to replace him in your heart. Well forget it. I won't be your knight in shining armour."

"Duo-"

"I said shut up, okay! Just leave me alone!" Duo's eyes glittered with the taint of barely restrained insanity, teeth bared in a vicious snarl.

"Duo..." Relena stepped forward, hand outstretched.

"That's it!" He snapped, lunging forward. The russet braid whipped behind him as his hand caught Relena's throat, and his weight and inertia slammed her back against a gravestone. "I said shut up! I wouldn't take charity when I lived on the streets, I won't take charity now." Duo's face was inches from hers now, eyes snapping cold fire as his fingers tightened harshly on her throat, crushing fragile skin, and leaving marks that were sure to bruise.

"Duo…" She gasped, eyes wide in fright. Her fingernails clawed at his hand, scraping bloody furrows in his skin in an attempt to be released, but to no avail. His grip only tightened.

"Next time I say something, you had better listen, Miss Dorlian." With a sneer, he stepped away, and let her crumble to the ground, gasping for air. Then the expression faded from his face, his usual smile replacing it as Wufei called for him. Glancing down at Relena's huddled form, the sneer reappeared momentarily. "I'll see you later, ojousan."

-End prologue-

Tuesday, June 4, 2002 01:31 p.m.

Scarlet

It was break at the Koneko. The customers were all gone for the hour long lunch period, leaving the shop deserted except for Yohji, who was leaning casually against the counter, a cigarette hanging rebelliously from his lips. The smoke drifted aimlessly in the still air, acrid tang of tobacco mixing with the exotic yet domestic perfume of the flowers. Vivid emerald eyes traced the contorted shapes in the smoke, lids half shut as he fought away the mid-day lassitude that was slowly putting him to sleep. The doors of the shop had been flung open earlier in the morning to allow the breeze to cool the shop, but now the air from outside was stale and humid, sullying everything it touched rather than cleansing.

A wide yawn was stifled by one slim fingered hand just before Yohji's eyes slid entirely shut, the cigarette dangling precariously from his lips, and threatening to fall. It nearly did as an angry shout startled the brunette from his doze, barely catching himself from falling off the stool. Aya stood in the doorway, eyes harder than ever, full attention of those violet hued irises focused on Yohji. "Put that thing out. Now." Orders, when issued by Aya, were expected to followed immediately, but Yohji never followed orders explicitly, so he took a drag, then blew the blue-gray smoke in the red head's direction.

"It's break... And on break," The smoke wafted on the air, disipating with an angry wave of the younger man's hands as it fouled the air around his hand. "You can't tell me what to do." A self-satified smirk was tossed in Aya's direction before Yohji placed his feet up on the counter, his shoulders resting on the wall behind him, and placed his hands behind his head, eyes shut.

One eye cracked open at Aya's growl, then the other flew open as well as the younger red head stormed across the room and pulled the cigarette from his mouth, flicking it out the door with a contemptuous snap of his wrist. "Like hell I can't." Hard violet snapped fire at Yohji as Aya looked down on him, Yohji glaring back just as determinedly.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Letting his feet slip off the counter, the brunette sat up in one smooth movement, the stood to look down at the younger man. The movement had put him nearly chest to chest with the swordsman, and it became a contest of wills to see who'd turn away from te other's gaze first.

"You." Aya's eyes flickered with an unnamed emotion before he spun on his heel and stalked away, heading for the stairs down to the mission room.

"Che. Bakayarou..." His footsteps echoed hollowly on the metal steps as he stormed down the spiral staircase, usual carefree expression replaced by a scowl of anger and confusion. "What did I do now, oh great leader?" The red head was seated on the couch, back against an arm rest and his long legs spread across the cushions, crossed. He pointedly ignored Yohji, instead staring into the dark corners of the room disdainfully. Yohji dropped into a char across from him, glaring at the younger man's averted face. "For god's sake, just tell me!"

Friday, May 31, 2002 02:45 p.m.

For You

Ano... Decided I needed a new blog other than my LJ, so here it is. ^^;;;; DSY is going to be a fic blog, where I can jot down ideas and little bits of fics that I can't actually make into full length monsters.

Since I'm bored and in GLS, I'll type up a quick OmixOuka fic I wrote after seeing the episode where Ouka dies. Neeeee... If cw-neesama ever read this, methinks I'd be dead. ^^;;

For You

It's all my fault you know. If I hadn't have danced with you, I never would have known about my brothers, father, uncle. Aya-kun would never have left Weiß. Ken-kun and Yohji-kun would never have been hurt.

I could have stayed Tsukiyono Omi forever. I could have remained and assassin, killing without imunity, without realizing that I too am a dark beast, that I sold my soul for salvation all those years ago.

I's sorry Ouka, that I couldn't protect you, couldn't keep you safe. You said that you were glad you met me, but how could you mean it, when I just as well as killed you with my own hands? Why couldn't you stay away, were you really in love? It hurts to know that your love killed you, kills me to think that I'm the reason you're dead. If you had known that this would be the outcome of your love, would you still have loved me with all your heart?

It's raining today. It was raining then too. Could you feel the rain beating down on your face even as your life faded away? Were you cold? Did you even notice that the sky was crying for you, that heaven were mourning?

I'm sitting under the tree where you died in my arms, letting the rain wash over me. It feels cleansing, but I don't want to be clean, don't want to lose the last trace of you. The rain makes the gun in my hands shine, the cold metal gleaming dully in the dim moonlight. No one noticed when I retrieved the weapon that killed you, tarnished with mud and gun powder. It took your life, and it'll take mine as well. I don't know how I am anymore, I died with you, Ouka. I'm not Mamoru, I'm not Omi, I don't even know if I'm Bombay anymore. I just want to be with you Ouka, and never be apart again. Do you think Ken, Yohji and my uncle will join us later? Will Aya come too, with his sister?

The barrel is cold against my temple, the trigger resisting the pressure of my finger. A final few tears slide down my cheeks, before the trigger gives way. For you, Ouka.

Well, that was depressing, no? Ah well, I write angst. And that's my FIRST non yaoi fic ever. ^^;;;;; Ja matte ne!